Trauma Expression After Religion
Religious expression refers to the ways people express their religion to others. This can be done through words or through the use of symbols.
For survivors of religious trauma, religious expression can elicit a trauma response.
Immediate trauma responses can include;
•exhaustion
•confusion
•sadness
•anxiety
•agitation
•numbness
•dissociation
Delayed responses to trauma can include;
•persistent fatigue
•sleep disorders
•nightmares
•fear of recurrence
•anxiety focused on flashbacks
•depression
Some trauma survivors will avoid emotions, sensations, or activities that are associated with the trauma, even remotely.
Those who started experiencing trauma at a young age have difficulty regulating emotions such as;
•anger
•anxiety
•sadness
•shame
When religious expression incites a trauma response, I call this ‘trauma expression’.
Just as an individual should be allowed to practice religious expression… trauma expression should be equally allowed.
Victims of religious trauma needn’t be shamed for their very natural psychological response to a trigger.
In this article I will be sharing the tools which have helped me navigate my trauma expression, as well as keep relationships with respectful friends and family who still belong my childhood religion.
JOURNALING
I lay the foundation with journaling, I use my journal for all my trauma work, not just religious trauma.
Some survivors have been taught any of their negative thoughts or emotions are bad and sinful. This means many have a difficult time naming their full range of emotions. Journaling helps a survivor start to connect with this repressed part of themselves in a safe environment. My own trauma recovery journal includes
•My morning, afternoon, and evening moods.
•Daily events which elicited strong emotions (positive to negative)
•Which trauma response moods were most prevalent, if any.
One thing I prefer to do, is color code my emotions. At the end of the month I will go through my journal and highlight certain emotions in their given color. This helps me see what my overall mood for the month looked like. This is also incredibly helpful because triggers are when our ‘animal’ brain detects a threat before our rational mind can analyze it. I’ve been able to pinpoint blind spots, where certain relationships, activities, or places were unknowingly eliciting a trauma response.
After discovering the patterns which elicit trauma, we can now move to the next step…
LEARNING YOUR BOUNDARIES
The first thing to remember is this. Having a boundary concerning your religious trauma is not sinful or unkind. You are being your own advocate now, whereas before you had none. You are powerful, brave, and strong.
Notice that I said ‘learn’ your boundaries. I prefer to learn my boundaries as well as create a safe place when triggered before I begin actively setting boundaries. This will help build resilience in the case of difficult family and friends.
While I learn my boundaries, I do so based off of my personal journal. I give my boundary a solid structure. This is helpful because when I feel triggered, I can get out of my trauma response and instead rationally think through my boundary structure.
When I create a boundary, I ask these questions-
•Where do I feel the trigger in my body?
•What emotions arise with the trigger?
•How does this situation make me feel unsafe or unheard?
•What do I need to feel safe and heard?
LEARNING TO SIT WITH TRIGGER EMOTIONS
Looking at your journal. I want you to sit cross legged in a quiet room. I want you to think of a trigger. Connect with the feeling in your body, the emotions, and how you felt unheard. Let the discomfort build.
Now I want you to incorporate a technique called ‘the butterfly hug’
- Cross your hands across your chest, with your middle fingers resting on your collarbones
- Raise your elbows to create your butterfly wings
- Slowly tap hands on your chest, alternating left and right
- While tapping, breathe in through your nose and exhale through your nose until you start to feel some relief.
As you feel the relief begin addressing what you need to feel safe and heard. I now want you to repeat ‘I am worthy of ‘____’ as you continue to tap. Continue this until you strongly agree with your statement. Once you have reached this place for your triggers, it’s time to begin addressing your boundaries openly. Whenever you feel pushback, mentally bring yourself back to your empowering statement. It is also completely normal to need many sessions for a single trigger. Give yourself time.
Starting into this process can be really scary. The biggest piece of advice I can give is this;
Be compassionate with yourself, your trauma, and your triggers. Give yourself the time you need to build up resilience. Once I had resilience and stopped feeling so ashamed, I was able to make rapid forward progress with my family.
If this helps, my family was very religious. To the level where when they found my Wicca spell book at 12. (I was just trying to, unsuccessfully, cast a love spell on my crush) I was grounded for six months, nearly homeschooled… and legitimately couldn’t have candles in the house ever again... I’m now a full blown left hand path practitioner.
There’s always hope for growth and acceptance.
