Sometimes. Drowning Is The Point.

I had a dream. I was traveling north with an unknown companion. The ocean was to my left. I could see the waves were getting higher, the sky darker. I thought ‘It would be so much easier to travel south’. But I knew my destination was north. The water began to overtake the road. So I pulled off to the side to seek shelter in a hospital.

My travel companion was furious. She wanted to keep going. I pointed to our car outside the hospital. It was whipped up by the storm. Exasperated, my companion left. Before I could find a safe place in the hospital. I woke up. 

The dream was unnerving to me. North is synonymous with left. I thought about my place on the lefthand path. The peril of going north as opposed to remaining on the right hand path (the south). 

After a few days I decided to continue the dream through active imagination.

I found myself in the hospital once more. Water  rushed in through the massive front doors, quickly filling the lobby. I ran into the wave, knowing the rooms would soon be filled. I swam upwards with all my might. I could see the glisten of the sun above. I kept going. 

I reached the top of the water and pulled myself out. I felt relieved. Until I looked down to see my body floating in the water. I realized then I had not survived the ordeal. I mourned my death for a moment, and then turned around. I was standing in an ethereal field. A narrow path continued north. To each side of It was every spirit I’ve come to know and love standing along the sides. 

I felt an inexplicable sense of peace and joy. As long as I could remember I always feared what was to come after death. Even as a young child I feared judgement day. But this was an entirely different experience. These spirits knew my soul in life and death. They knew my inner evil as well as good. I could stand before them individuated, whole. 

Later, while reading a book, I was confronted once again by this dream. The passage reads as follows; 

“The dual forces of the plane whereon the vital power must be sought are seen; the two paths face the solar Angel; the poles vibrate. A choice confronts the one who meditates…. The waters ebb and flow. Let the magician guard himself from drowning at the point where land and water meet.”

The paths in this text were directly referring to the right vs the lefthand path, it’s author an adept of the right hand path. It made me think, maybe to walk on the lefthand path is to drown. And maybe that was the point. Maybe this could only be experienced and explained by those who travel north. I had to confront my fears and die to understand salvation comes in many forms. I later read a description of the Elysian Fields only to realize this was the place I saw in my active imagination session. 

These times are scary, emotional, and turbulent. But now I carry this sentiment with me when I face my fears in this waking world… ‘sometimes drowning is the point’